The first thing my Dad said to me when I saw him on Sunday night was, ” It’s football season.” While I’m not one to give up on things easily, (After 29 years, I’m still trying to win People Magazine’s sexiest man alive) things clearly aren’t looking so hot for the birds. This past weekends’ drubbing at the hands of the defending world champs was about as enjoyable to watch as a Justin Tucker, Royal Farms commercial. It was painful. If there was any hope of an Orioles’ second half turnaround, this 10 game home stand following the All-Star break was crucial. Starting 0-3 while giving up 27 runs and 41 hits in the process wasn’t exactly inspiring. So, if you are giving up on the O’s season but aren’t quite ready for football, here are some sports viewing options to get you through the next couple months.
-The Open Championship aka The British Open. July 20-23. Royal Birkdale, Southport,England.
I’m a big golf guy. I realize there are very many humans who’d rather watch just about anything else. Get over it. The Open Championship is an awesome event played on some of the oldest, most majestic golf courses in the world and usually in windy and rainy conditions that makes for very entertaining viewing. Also, if you are an anxious insomniac like me, the Golf Channel has coverage starting at 1:30 a.m. on Thursday and Friday that runs through 4 p.m.(coverage starts at 4 a.m. on Saturday and Sunday.) The Open Championship also gives me an excuse to drink beer in the morning, not that I need an excuse because I’m an adult for christsakes. Leave me alone.
Prediction : I’ll pick my man Rickie Fowler to win his first major.
– The X Games
Whoops, the X Games just ended yesterday. I can’t believe I missed it. Come to think of it, I’ve missed it every year it has existed. Darn.
Prediction : I’ll pick Tony Hawk to win the X games.
– The Baltimore Brigade season is in full swing. Yeee-haw.
My sister texted me this morning and said, “We should go to a Brigade game, haha,” It took me awhile to figure out what in the hell she was talking about but then it hit me. Ohh yeah, Baltimore has an Arena Football League team. I responded with, “I’m only going if they have a free beer night.” I’d go to an AA meeting if they were offering free beer. I know I said these were alternative options to baseball and football but this isn’t really football. I haven’t been to a game yet so I won’t talk too much crap about it but I have had the misfortune of watching an AFL game on TV. The only thing I really know about the AFL is that Jon Bon Jovi is at every game. Let’s go Brigade!
Prediction: You’ll have great seats.
– Reruns of D.C. United games are randomly on CSN a few days after the actual game. Check your local listings.
Who wouldn’t want to watch a two day old MLS game? I stopped watching the D.C. United when Marco Etcheverry’s left foot retired. If you don’t get that reference, don’t worry, that means you have a more productive life than me.
Prediction: A tie.
-The PGA Championship. August 10-13. Quail Hollow Club, Charlotte, North Carolina.
Yup, more golf. Get off my back. The fourth and final major of the year. I went to my first golf tournament a few weekends ago at the Quicken Loans National in Bethesda. It was fun. We followed Rickie Fowler(one of my many man crushes ;0) around for seven holes until my wine drunk girlfriend started complaining about her feet hurting, sat down and refused to go on. Well, now her back is going to hurt because she just pulled landscaping duty.
Prediction- Rickie wins again! Or maybe Phil Mickelson as long as his son isn’t graduating summer school that weekend. Zing!
-The U.S Open, Tennis. August 28-September 10.
I used to like to watch and play tennis. I was known in high school for my temper tantrums on the court. My principal once had to come down to the tennis courts after hearing me scream, “elephant penis,”(cursing was forbidden) after a missed overhead, and tell me to shut up because I was disturbing the lacrosse game. The fact that anyone was watching lacrosse was the actual disturbing part. Lacrosse is the only sport less interesting than tennis. I no longer like to watch or play tennis.
Prediction: John McEnroe will say something that’s not actually controversial, people will get offended and freak out on Twitter.
-Read a book.